For starters I was born in Jeffersonville where I lived for the next 10 years of my life. As a child i didn't really go to church that often, here and there. My cousins where the side of the family that a always went to church and was very religious. Being a kid i really didn't know much about God or Jesus, just some of the basic things. My aunt was a big impact on my life. She went to church a lot and used to take me with her. It was her way to bring me towards Christ when things with my parents weren't going to well. Every Friday my aunt would pick my older cousin Darren over to my house while she talked to my parents. Darren was about 23 but was mentally disabled and had the mental capability of maybe a 8 year old. I was too young to really understand really what was really wrong with Darren. One thing I will never forget is when i asked Darren if he could read a book to me. I will never forget the look he gave me when i asked him, he looked at me with these sad looking eyes and said " Cody, I can't read."
As I got older i started going to church more with my aunt and sometimes my mother would tag along. i also started learning more about the details of what was wrong with Darren. Also as i got older i spent a lot more time with my cousin and grew to be best friends. I still saw Darren every Friday, but there were sometimes Darren didn't want to come over because he said his stomach hurt. I used to think that he just didn't want to come over and see me. Then Easter of 2004, Darren was diagnosed with Leukemia. Going to church every Sunday I started to learn more about God and what Jesus did for us. Every Sunday I learned more and more, but i still couldn't wrap my head around why Darren had to be the one with Leukemia. Hadn't he already been through enough? Why couldn't it have been me? Why did God do this to Darren? To be honest, for awhile I started blaming God for Darren's diagnoses. And my faith in Jesus started slipping. Days got worse when my cousin stopped coming every Friday and i hardly got to see my best friend anymore. Things came to worse when one day after school I walked in to a quiet house and upset parents. Darren had died early that afternoon while i was in school making him a get well soon card.
After i got the news i was so distraught that i broke down and cried for hours i lost my cousin, the person i could talk to, the person who would play with me when every one else was to busy, and most importantly my best friend. That is when my faith in the Lord was at an all time low. Why? Why? Why? Was all i could ask. I went to church, worshiped the Lord, prayed. What did I do wrong that made God not want to save my best friend? I needed to blame somebody and for a while I blamed God.
After a while talking to my aunt and starting to go back to church I started reading more of the Bible. One verse that stood out to me was Jeremiah 29:11: "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." This verse helped me realize that I could not blame God for the death of my cousin, but taught me that God has a plan for all of us, he has a separate and thought out plan for every single person on this earth.
Personally I think that a lot of people do the same that I did and what to blame God for the bad things that have happened in their life instead of reading the Bible, going to church and realizing what God has planned for them and every person. We as Christians cannot just live our lives as normal and only lean on God when we need help we must keep our faith, shout it out, and praise God for the things that he blesses us with and in times of need pray to God. Proverbs 3:5-6 says Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths."
R.I.P Darren Harbin (1979-2004)
After i got the news i was so distraught that i broke down and cried for hours i lost my cousin, the person i could talk to, the person who would play with me when every one else was to busy, and most importantly my best friend. That is when my faith in the Lord was at an all time low. Why? Why? Why? Was all i could ask. I went to church, worshiped the Lord, prayed. What did I do wrong that made God not want to save my best friend? I needed to blame somebody and for a while I blamed God.
After a while talking to my aunt and starting to go back to church I started reading more of the Bible. One verse that stood out to me was Jeremiah 29:11: "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." This verse helped me realize that I could not blame God for the death of my cousin, but taught me that God has a plan for all of us, he has a separate and thought out plan for every single person on this earth.
Personally I think that a lot of people do the same that I did and what to blame God for the bad things that have happened in their life instead of reading the Bible, going to church and realizing what God has planned for them and every person. We as Christians cannot just live our lives as normal and only lean on God when we need help we must keep our faith, shout it out, and praise God for the things that he blesses us with and in times of need pray to God. Proverbs 3:5-6 says Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths."
R.I.P Darren Harbin (1979-2004)
